What is a Man?
There have been two items in the news recently which have addressed the idea of ‘What is a Man?’. They both have serious implications for how we treat this issue and both suggest that we, as a culture, have gone seriously wrong on this issue.
When we are born we have in us a natural concept of masculinity. We know, instinctively, what we are and we understand the difference between a man and a woman. This comes as part of our DNA. It is built into our basic design because the concepts of masculinity and femininity are central to our survival as a species. This goes beyond just an instinctive notion on sex and masculinity to an understanding of the whole concept of manhood. This knowledge remains buried inside ready to be accessed when we reach puberty. It is designed to become part of our nature along with the physical changes that puberty brings on.
Well at least this is the case in a well balanced man who has been brought up to trust his own judgement and intuition, a man who has been educated to be critical of cultural pressures and has learnt to see them for what they are, attempts to suppress the natural instincts of a man. These cultural pressures come from two main sources, your family and the cultural context in which you live. If these two forms of influence coincide then their effect can be powerful indeed. If they conflict with each other then there is a greater chance that a man might see through them and make his own mind, as he is meant to do. That is the masculine way.
So what are the news items that shed light on how we, culturally, see men?
Xhosa Circumcision
The first is an extraordinary story about circumcision among the Xhosa in South Africa. This came to prominence in the Observer Newspaper in the UK. The King of the Zulus has brought back circumcision for thousands of teenage boys 200 years after it was scrapped. Workers with the second largest tribe, the Xhosa, who never gave up the practice, say this could put many lives at risk. Each year 50,000 Xhosa boys descend on the Eastern Cape, in South Africa, to take part in the secretive ritual. This comprises circumcision by a ‘traditional surgeon’ and one month’s seclusion in nakedness. This, they say, has resulted in many horrific deaths and the spread of hiv.
After the circumcision with a knife used on many boys the boy is given marijuana to help with the severe pain and for the first week of greatest pain he is not allowed to drink water or have salt in his food. During this time of seclusion the boys receive visits from a ‘teacher’ whose role is to check that the wound is healing and explain the duties and responsibilities of a man.
“He must be able to survive in the wild, fight, but also resolve conflicts.”
At this point the boy receives a warrior name because, according to Xhosa believe, this is the point at which he becomes a man, and, of course, all his friends are doing it. Without this ritual they are not allowed to mix with men, only the raw ritual will do, not healthy, hospital circumcision.
After initiation the new man must be bought new clothes and his entire wardrobe must be thrown away, even his mobile phone must go. During the seclusion he is not allowed to see women and only on emerging from sclusion were women’s concerns briefly addressed. One of the femail workers said,
“Initiation should be about education, including respecting women. I am a Xhosa woman and I know the initiates are are taught how to use their power, not how to control it, If this could be changed we could see a new generation of men emerge, circumcised and more responsible.”
Fathers and Breastfeeding
The second story is a more predictable one about fathers-to-be being given lessons on breastfeeding and supporting their partner through childbirth. This is part of an initiative by the British Government announced in their families green paper. It proposes measures to get fathers more involved in their child’s upbringing from before birth and beyond. The labour government has decided, in this election year, to put fatherhood at the centre of its social policy. Every new father will be given a ‘New Dad’s Guide’ that will include an explanation of breastfeeding and tips on supporting their partner. Apparently mothers are twice as likely to continue breastfeeding if their partners have had a lesson about its benefits before birth and fathers involved at birth are far more likely to stay involved through childhood and adolescence.
What does this mean?
It seems that becoming a man, either as a warrior or as a father, is something that needs to be controlled and encouraged. These stories tell us that society, in two contrasting forms, has decided that men are not able to make their own decisions about becoming a man. In the case of the Xhosa they need to go through an excruciating ritual and in the case of British fathers they need to go through an embarrassing one! This is seen to be too important an issue to be left to man’s own judgement and discretion. But the real reason is that the respective societies feel that they need to create men of a certain type to continue the society they have created. Leaving men to make their own mind up creates enormous uncertainty for them and might result in changes in the nature of their respective societies.
In the case of the Xhosa their structure is based around a warrior class of men who are subservient to the King and who are strongly bonded together. Like any army they cannot afford independence of thought and it seems that the warrior ritual is so extreme that it creates the most amazing bond. In the case of the British Government you find that there is a substantial social influence from the feminist movement creating a society of strong women who’s role in society is held to be equal to men. The continuation of this concept requires the softening of men and the bringing out of their ‘feminine’ side. This loss of strength in the men is essential to the propagation of this social model.
I’m not saying that either of these social models is wrong, that is a matter of individual opinion. What I am saying is that it is wrong for societies to push these models on men as a whole in order to create their desired society. The real crime, though, is that men still fall for it. One of the strengths in a man is the ability to make an informed judgement on any particular situation not just accept the dictates of society. Last week I posted a set of films of John F kennedy. One of the reasons he was such a great man and such a great President (so great they had to shoot him) was that he made up his own mind on situations and stood up for what he thought. He was an independent minded man who was willing to stand against many of the pressures of society.
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